So, to understand the context of this story, we’ve got to go back in time to a drive back to California from Colorado after a Christmas trip. Well, right when we cross the Nevada-California border on I-15, well California has a nice little welcome home gift for us.
Brake lights. Traffic. Bumper to bumper. Yep, this is Southern California.
So we’re sitting there moving along at roughly zero miles per hour when I remember a gift that Tiffany gave me. A radio controlled monster truck that’s sitting in the trunk. So I get out of the car, get my toy car and it plays in real traffic for awhile, going up and down the shoulder, and – sometimes – merging into real traffic between two non-moving cars. Good fun.
And then, without warning, traffic starts to move again. Not fast. Maybe 15 mph or so. But faster than the little radio-controlled car can go. So we start to leave it behind. I have to jump out of the car to snatch it up. Tiffany lets me out as traffic slows again. I run back about 50 yards to pick up the car and as I’m running back toward Tiffany, traffic speeds up again. Instead of waiting for me, Tiffany goes with traffic and starts leaving me behind.
I run in a panic. And catch up. I have to jump into a moving car with Tiffany looking back at me telling me to hurry!…
So that’s the first time Tiffany tried to abandon me. Fast forward to three days after the wedding. We’re in the Fort Lauderdale Airport laid over from Dulles and heading to Saint Thomas.
Only problem is, she’s got my boarding pass in her book.
So I’m sitting in the terminal, unable to board the plane while she finds our seats by herself, unaware that I am now stranded. I ask another passenger to inform her of our situation – that she has abandoned me a second time. I figure she’d have a bit less fun on our honeymoon alone, but you never know with this girl, right?
So I guess they won’t let her off the plane to give me the ticket for security reasons, so finally a stewardess brings my ticket out and they let me get on the plane.
Second time Tiffany tried to ditch me, and we’d only been married 72 hours…